A Nervous System Perspective from The Cole Neural Institute.
Emotional intelligence is often described as the combination of five abilities:
- Self-awareness
- Empathy
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Social skills
When these five capacities function together, they create what we commonly call emotional intelligence.
In practical terms, emotional intelligence influences how you:
- interpret your experiences
- respond to the world around you
- regulate your emotions
- interact with others
- pursue meaning and satisfaction in life
It is also one of the strongest predictors of overall wellbeing and life satisfaction.
But an important question remains:
How do you actually increase emotional intelligence?
The answer begins with one foundational skill.
Emotional Intelligence Begins with Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence.
If you are not aware of your emotional state, it becomes nearly impossible to regulate it. Likewise, it is difficult to evaluate your happiness, stress level, or wellbeing without a clear sense of your internal state.
In other words, emotional intelligence begins with developing an accurate internal barometer.
At The Cole Neural Institute (CNI), we approach this process from both a psychological and neurological perspective. Over the course of working with more than 3,000 patients, conducting over 50,000 clinical sessions, and analyzing millions of minutes of brain and nervous system data, we have consistently observed that increasing awareness of internal states is the first step toward improving emotional regulation.
Fortunately, this skill can be trained.
One simple method involves learning to bring your nervous system out of autopilot and into conscious awareness.
A Simple Breathing Technique to Increase Self-Awareness
Human beings naturally adapt to their environments over time. While this ability is useful, it also causes us to stop noticing many of the small experiences that bring enjoyment and calm.
We become accustomed to them and begin operating on automatic mode.
When this happens, awareness decreases, and with it our ability to regulate emotional responses.
A simple breathing exercise can help interrupt this automatic state and bring your attention back to the present moment.
The Three-Count Breathing Exercise
- Breathe in slowly for a count of three
- Hold your breath for a count of three
- Breathe out slowly for a count of three
Repeat this cycle several times.
While breathing, focus your attention on the sensation of air moving in and out of your body. Notice the physical feeling of breathing and allow your attention to remain with that experience.
Once your awareness has increased, you can deepen the calming effect by repeating the following statement silently or out loud:
“I have nothing to worry about. I choose what I worry about.”
While worry may feel automatic, most worrying does not actually solve problems. In fact, it often amplifies the nervous system’s stress response.
By repeating this phrase, you are intentionally signaling your nervous system to shift out of a reactive state and toward a calmer regulatory mode.
For many people, this simple technique produces an immediate sense of increased awareness and emotional stability.
Training the Nervous System to Improve Emotional Intelligence
Breathing techniques like this are helpful because they engage the autonomic nervous system, which plays a central role in emotional regulation.
At CNI, we help individuals develop these skills through structured nervous system training that integrates multiple forms of neurological measurement, including:
- Brainwave activity through qEEG brain mapping
- Heart Rate Variability (HRV) to measure autonomic balance
- Heart Rate (BPM) to observe physiological arousal
- Electrodermal Activity (EDA) to track sympathetic nervous system activation
These signals allow us to observe how the brain and body interact during emotional states in real time.
When individuals learn how their nervous system functions — and how to influence it — they gain a powerful form of regulatory agency.
This ability to intentionally influence internal states is one of the most practical ways to increase emotional intelligence.
Instead of reacting automatically, people develop the capacity to observe, regulate, and direct their responses.
Over time, this shift creates greater clarity, resilience, and emotional stability.
Building Emotional Intelligence Through Nervous System Training
At The Cole Neural Institute, our programs are designed to help individuals understand and train their nervous systems through a structured process that integrates:
- neurological assessment
- brain-based training
- physiological feedback
- cognitive and emotional regulation strategies
By strengthening nervous system regulation, individuals can increase self-awareness, improve emotional control, and enhance overall wellbeing.
Emotional intelligence is not simply a personality trait — it is a trainable skill rooted in nervous system function.
If you would like to learn more about how the CNI approach works, we invite you to schedule a consultation with our team.
📞 Call The Cole Neural Institute at 786-779-0022